The Challenge of Finding a Church Home as an LGBTQ+ Christian

-

One of the most difficult parts of an LGBTQ+ Christian's life is choosing a church to attend. Many have experienced much hate and abuse in the church in the past and are fearful of being hurt again.

There are three main approaches that churches have towards LGBTQ+ folk:

Welcomed

One of the most common stances towards LGBTQ+ folk in many churches is to declare that they are welcome to attend the church's worship services on a Sunday. I think that even the most conservative churches today would not prevent LGBTQ+ folk from attending their services. After all, it adds to their attendance figures and increases their financial coffers.

However, there is usually a catch. While LGBTQ+ folk might be welcome to attend these church's services, they will never be allowed to take up any leadership roles, they might be prevented from partaking in certain parts of the church's life, will probably receive many condescending looks and will be at risk of being made to feel inadequate and sinful at times, either explicitly or more subtly. There is also usually an underlying assumption that if LGBTQ+ folk attend for long enough or listen to enough sermons, they might magically come around to the church's way of seeing things.

Accepted

Some churches have taken a slightly more progressive stance towards LGBTQ+ folk. They encourage them to be a part of the church's life and claim to accept them as they are. While they might not understand LGBTQ+ folk, they acknowledge that LGBTQ+ Christians exist and are happy to accept them as a part of the church's life.

This approach is certainly better than the first. In church's such as this, LGBTQ+ folk can sometimes find a home where they are comfortable and feel loved. They might even be given an opportunity to serve on the worship team or lead a bible study.

The problem is that this approach merely tries to keep everyone happy. Churches will claim that everyone is accepted, but will struggle to explicitly call out situations of exclusion or abuse because they do not want to be at risk of offending a particular group of people.

Therefore, while LGBTQ+ folk might feel comfortable and accepted at churches such as this, they could be afraid to be their true selves at the risk of being hurt again.

Affirmed

Finally, there is the approach that I believe is the most life-giving and Christ-like for LGBTQ+ Christians to discover.

An affirming church celebrates a person's sexuality as a healthy part of who God created them to be. They do not ask LGBTQ+ Christians to leave a core part of their identity at the door.

An affirming church celebrates the love of LGBTQ+ couples in the same way they do for their straight couples. They intentionally greet and get to know an LGBTQ+ person's partner in the same manner as they would welcome a new boyfriend/girlfriend of one of their cisgender, straight members.

An affirming church understands that LGBTQ+ folk have God-given gifts and talents that should be utilized in leadership and ministerial positions in the church.

An affirming church welcomes, accepts and affirms a person's God-given sexuality in all of its diversity, goodness and glory.

A final note

I understand that not all churches are on the same page about this. Some churches have interpreted the bible in a way that they cannot reconcile LGBTQ+ relationships with their understanding of God's plan for human relationships. Unfortunately, I have to accept that some churches will never change this belief.

All I am pleading is that churches would be clear about their position towards the LGBTQ+ community.

Let us not gaslight LGBTQ+ folk by telling them that they are welcome, but in order to be a part of the church's life, they need to suppress or change a core part of who God created them to be.

Let us be open and honest if we are willing to accept LGBTQ+ folk in our church communities, but are unsure about how far this acceptance goes.

Let us declare loudly and proudly if we are willing to affirm and celebrate LGBTQ+ folk in all areas of our church's life and ministry.

LGBTQ+ folk have been devastatingly hurt by churches who claim one thing, but practice another. Let us be clear in our intentions so that LGBTQ+ folk know where they can find a true church home.

And finally, to my LGBTQ+ siblings in Christ. Be encouraged that there are churches out there who will welcome, accept and even affirm you as a beloved child of God, just as you are. I know that they are unfortunately sometimes hard and scary to try and find, but the love and peace and joy that you can experience when you do find an affirming church home is an incredible gift that you will always be grateful for.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

The Laws of Leviticus

-
Image
The second and third passages of scripture that are used to condemn homosexuality and clobber LGBTQ+ people come from the often-read book of Leviticus (sarcasm alert). Before digging into these verses, let’s quote them here: “Don’t lie with a man as with a woman; it is an abomination.” - Leviticus 18:22 “‘If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.” - Leviticus 20:13 These strong words in the Bible have armed anti-gay protesters with enough content to fill their picket signs with hatred and violence. “Homosexuality is an Abomination” and “God hates fags” and “To death with the gays” are all signs that make regular appearances at Pride parades throughout the world, unfortunately often held up by so-called Christians. Regardless of someone’s belief about homosexuality, I will never understand how some Christians see this as a Christ-like response
Read more

The Ceremony that Divided the Church

-
Image
Note: A shorter version of this article was first published with the Jesuit Institute of South Africa. Last week Friday, my family sat down to watch the opening ceremony of the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris. The French always have a knack for the theatrics and this year was no different. The performances throughout the long ceremony were mesmerizing and provocative. We went to bed that night feeling tired but excited for the Olympic Games that were officially starting the following day. Little did I know that not everyone shared my enthusiasm. The Outrage I woke up the following morning and decided to browse social media (when is this ever a good idea?). My feed was filled with people sharing their outrage at a particular scene of the Olympics’ opening ceremony. A still picture of the ceremony was being shared alongside a picture of Da Vinci’s “The Last Supper” painting which admittedly showed a slight resemblance to the original. According to the outraged folk (including some morally
Read more

Leap of Faith

-
Image
I recently did the Lake Eland Extreme Zip-line with some of my friends from Pietermaritzburg. The zip-line is 1 100 meters long and reaches max speeds of up to 160km's per hour. All that is keeping you from falling hundreds of meters to an inevitable death is 2 cables and a harness that my hysterical brain was telling me would not have been out of place as a car's seat-belt. We arrived early and waited for half an hour as we contemplated our life choices up to this point. Eventually we were all kitted up and ready to go. While I wouldn't say that I have Acrophobia - an extreme fear of heights - as I looked out over the gorge that we would be flying through, breaking the national speed-limit in the process, it is fair to say that my stomach started churning and my legs turned to jelly. It was at this point that I'm sure many of us were trying to think of any reasonable excuse that would get us out of this jump without seeming like a coward. One of the thin
Read more